Tara Seay, B.A., M.A., LPC-MHSP | Director of Family Solutions, Family Therapist at Christ Community Health Services
As we step into the new year, many of us make resolutions for personal growth, hoping to embrace new routines and make lasting changes. But why does it often feel like we fall back into the same old patterns? Understanding this can help you and your family navigate challenges, especially when it comes to seeing real change in our children—no matter how many conversations we have with them, their teachers, or other trusted individuals.
To begin, let’s take a deeper look at how our child’s brain is structured. The lower part of the brain controls essential functions like breathing, heart rate, and digestion. Above this, we find the region that governs our feelings, emotions, and senses. The final part of the brain, the one responsible for decision-making, problem-solving, creativity, logic, and complex memory retention, is the last to fully develop—and it isn’t completed until around the age of 24! This is why the process of parenting continues well into the young adult years, as children gain the ability to make better decisions and function more independently.
Another critical area of the brain, located beneath the emotional center, is where our body’s stress response system resides. This is the part of the brain that activates when we face emergencies, releasing hormones that help us fight, flee, or freeze. For children, when they experience stress, overwhelm, or fatigue, this system kicks in, often overreacting to non-emergency situations. Unfortunately, this constant stress response can impede their ability to remember, learn new concepts, make sound decisions, or retain lessons learned from previous mistakes. Essentially, when the brain is in “survival mode,” the capacity for higher-level thinking and creativity takes a backseat.
So, how does this relate to our earlier question? When children are stressed or overwhelmed, it becomes much harder for them to perform at their best or respond in ways that reflect what they already know. To help them thrive, it’s essential to teach them how to manage stress and calm down—this lesson isn’t just for kids; it’s for adults as well.
Stress in children often manifests in ways we may not immediately recognize. Children are experts at hiding their emotions, and what might appear as “bad behavior” could actually be a reaction to fear, nervousness, or avoidance if they haven’t been taught how to manage these feelings effectively. Many children won’t ask for help, and some might not even recognize what they’re going through. As a parent, it’s your responsibility to observe signs of distress, especially when your child struggles with recurring challenges. Think about their experiences and potential sources of stress or worry. If you’re uncertain, it’s always a good idea to reach out to a child psychologist, therapist, counselor, or your child’s pediatrician for support and guidance.
At Christ Community Health Services’ Family Solutions, we’re here to walk alongside you during these critical moments. Whether through assessments, parenting coaching, or individual and family therapy, we aim to help you support your child’s development and address challenges head-on. If you need assistance, contact your local clinic or call us at 901-701-2626 to schedule an appointment.
Here’s to a healthier, more successful year ahead for you and your family. Happy New Year!
